muddling through parenthood

Self doubt is a troubling thing as a parent. Take sleep training for one. We are in a new era of sleep for Micah and well, the sleep whisperer isn't cuttin' it anymore. I must admit Ferber is sounding better and better. The thing is, I suspect that by picking Micah up to calm him--at this age--is just instilling this expectation in him that, "I cry=I get picked up." We never did move on to the not picking him up part and just soothing him with our voice, as the sleep whisperer advocates. Also Micah is in a whole new arena of self-awareness and stimulation--again a product of his older age. I strongly suspect picking him up actually makes his falling to sleep more difficult. The thing is, I am asking myself, "Is it teething?" "Is it the new development stage and new found mobility that is disrupting his sleep?" All of these questions don't make me any more confident into going into a new sleep training program...but I'm getting closer. I think to try any new method you have to be 100% first--otherwise you are destined to fail (particularly when letting your child cry and scream is involved). Micah is a really good boy--and by no means do I think we have it terribly bad--I just know I could be better, for him and us.

TROUBLE


So the other situation to date...diapers. I must thank my brother-in-law, Josh for an excellent website that reveals that perhaps cloth aren't all they're cracked up to be. I must admit I've suspected cloth had their shortcomings in the water-waste department but in my near-blind-faith that anything had to be better than disposable diapers I conveniently ignored what now is clear--at least here in water-scarce California. Josh said it best, "The Sierra Club (yes, the Sierra Club) no longer endorses the use of cloth diapers over disposable diapers. Their primary citation is a study (actually a survey of studies) by the Union of Concerned Scientists (http://www.ucsusa.org), a well-respected, very objective organization that uses science to "work for a healthy environment and a safer world." A brief summary of the study takes up a few pages in "The Consumer's Guide to Effective Environmental Choices: Practical Advice from the Union of Concerned Scientists." They conclude that if one takes into account the total environmental impact (production, energy use, water use, frequency of changing, and disposal) there is no significant environmental advantage to using cloth diapers vs. disposables. Depending on the model one uses to account for the impact, disposable diapers may be a bit better or cloth diapers may be marginally better. They write, "This means that other decisions described in this book [about minimizing one's environmental impact] are much more important than what type of diaper to use." There are differences between different diapers options in the TYPE of impact they have. Disposables obviously generate more landfill waste. Cloth diapers washed at home are big energy hogs because of the inefficiency of home-washing. Cloth diapers from a service use a large amount of water (2.5 times more than even home washing). They say one can use these differences to make a decision based on LOCAL scarcities. For example, if one lives someplace where landfill is scarce (e.g. New York City) one might not want to use disposables. If one lives someplace where water is scarce, one might not want to use a diaper service. Anyway, the point is that the intention is good, so keep up the good work, but choose your battles, too.(BTW, we've had good results so far, using Seventh Generation diapers.) " So out of curiousity I went to the Sierra Club and couldn't find an official statement just that which ever you choose doesn't make a difference, "it's a wash," and a reference to this Mothering magazine site.

I think this is important info that can provide peace of mind (--or more confusion!) for a lot of us just trying to muddle through and do what's best for our families. I know I feel good about the gDiapers and after reading this, feel better about using Seventh Generation disposables at night. As parents we must weigh the considerations of what we deem best for our child, the earth from our local context, and our pocket books (ideally in that order) and we can rest assured that in some small way we are doing the right thing (and in some small way we are probably doing the wrong thing) with whatever diaper we choose.

Editor's note: While writing this Micah successfully fell asleep on his own after taking a tour of the crib. Of course he is sleeping on his stomach...but at least he is sleeping.